Barbara Alfors Coaching and Consulting

Be in choice, be aligned, know your path, know your genius.

Category: Blog

Why Do We Have So Far to Go?

Working While Woman

I started looking into women’s issues in architecture, and what I found mirrors a lot of the problems in our culture – not just for women, but for people of color (PoC), LGBTQ, disabled, and other people who don’t fit the stereotypical image of successful people in a variety of occupations.

There has been a lot of coverage of the pay gap between average men’s and women’s salaries. People like to diminish the importance of this by suggesting that it’s because women often take maternity leave, or don’t work as many hours after having children and so aren’t at the same experience level. This might explain some of the pay gap in a general population study. However, a San Francisco AIA committee called Equity by Design did a study indicating that in architecture the gap holds true when comparing equal job titles and equal experience levels, and actually increases at greater experience levels.1

In researching further I came across an article claiming that “the pay gap could be closed by 2044 instead of 2080 if we do these three things!”2  I was appalled (2080!?), but also encouraged at the prospect of actually closing the gap.

Until I read it.

Their suggestions:

1. Digital fluency, such as using social media to network and online banking.
2. Women should get jobs in higher-paying fields.
3. Tech immersion: take a coding course!

Huh. None of these seems likely to be the problem for women professionals.

The article was based on the consulting firm Accenture’s study of “developed markets,” so perhaps I’m being unfair trying to look at these suggestions through the lens of professional women. But the reality is that pay gaps and promotion gaps persist in professional and tech fields, for both women and PoC. Issues such as workplace harassment are driving women from tech and science professions, and the cognitive bias that women and PoC just aren’t as good at certain tasks (such as leadership or coding) lead to lower rates of promotion. Unfortunately the fact is that women and PoC have to work harder and never make mistakes, and they still aren’t perceived to be as effective as white men.3

There are so many more issues to unpack here that I couldn’t possibly address them all. But I’ll follow up on this in a future post with some thoughts on what we can start to do about it. Let me know your thoughts or experiences in the comments!


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

References:
1 http://eqxdesign.com/blog?category=Metrics
2 http://money.cnn.com/2017/03/07/pf/gender-pay-gap/index.html
3 http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/01/14/women-and-leadership/

Recommended reading:
http://archiparlour.org/six-myths-about-women-and-architecture/
http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-a242423oles-who-show-up-every-time-word-feminism-used/ (strong language)
http://www.catalyst.org/knowledge/flip-script-women-workplace-0#main-content
https://monicacatherine.com/2017/04/05/dear-microsoft-no/

What dreams are still waiting for you?

Where is your path heading?

Here we are, adults living our lives – though if you’re like me, you’re not living the life you envisioned years ago. Where has your path diverged from what you expected when you were young?

Few of us will follow the exact path that we imagined in high school. It makes sense to adjust as we learn and grow, and to adapt to changing circumstances.

The only expectations I had for my adult life were that I would 1) make $30,000, and 2) marry, have two kids, and live in a house.

Those things happened. But I never had much of a vision for the essence of how my life would go. I figured that my education and skills would be valued and I could just be a productive member of society and get by on that. At a certain point I realized that I had to actually take control of the shape and texture of my life, and letting other people’s expectations determine the course wasn’t going to lead me to where I truly wanted to go.

What are your dreams? What contributions do you want to be remembered for?

The decisions you make now can help you find your new path.


If you would like to explore how to rekindle your dreams, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

So what is coaching, anyway?

Where are you heading?

A coach is a bit like a personal trainer – someone to push you and keep you accountable.  But a coach isn’t setting the target; you are.  A typical coaching client has a problem they need help with.  Whether it’s a relationship conflict, a work issue, a career decision, or a personal matter, a coach can help the client navigate the problem.   A good coach will help you explore what might be holding you back from reaching your goal, and will challenge you along the way if you are having trouble stepping out of your comfort zone.

What coaching is: There are many kinds of coaching, but they all focus on you and the goals you want to reach.  If you are curious, I recommend booking a complimentary sample session!

What coaching can do: Coaching can help you reach a goal, resolve a problem, or identify the goal you want to reach.  Along the way you might find new perspectives and create life altering shifts.

What coaching isn’t: Coaching is not: therapy or counseling, mentoring or advice, or a quick and easy fix.

Coaching Sessions

I offer complimentary sample sessions so that you can get a feel for what coaching can do for you.

Contact me today to schedule your free sample session!

 

Doing Hard Things

Stormy Skies Aren't Scary, Right?

Stormy skies aren’t always scary, right?

 

I’ve been having trouble with procrastination lately.   I’m known as a highly responsible, never-let-anyone-down kind of person.  But I have a harder time keeping commitments to myself.

I was beating myself up about it, which of course is never helpful but then I realized – this is hard stuff!  It might not seem like it, because it’s all pretty ordinary – call people to let them know about my new business, work on my website – but these things represent a major shift for me.  I’ve realized that my usual approach to life wasn’t going to work for me anymore, and that knowledge created panic!

What if I show up (as my true self) and nobody likes me?

What if I put all this work into a new endeavor and I fail?

Well, my logical mind has rational answers for these questions, but the part of me who lives with those fears is never quite convinced.  What we all want is to be appreciated for who we are.  And that can be scary for a lot of us.

Pushing through this fear and showing up anyway is the only way to start shifting things into alignment.  And it’s okay if everyone doesn’t like you; the ones who will connect with you the deepest won’t even find you until you put yourself out there.

And failure (deep breaths) is okay.  This is a hard one for me.  I’ve been fortunate – or perhaps unfortunate? – to not have faced a lot of challenges in my life, so the idea that it’s okay to screw up is one that I’m still learning to appreciate.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

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