Years ago I attended a day-long meditation class (part of the childbirth class I was taking), and one of the things we did was lovingkindness meditation. I find it very helpful for dealing with stress and stressful people.
Here’s how you do it: first, find a quiet place to sit where you won’t be interrupted. Then you traditionally use four people to focus on; first yourself, then a loved one (a pet, your baby, your S.O., etc), then a neutral person (someone you don’t know well, like a supermarket checker or the mail carrier, or someone at work), then a difficult person (start with an easy difficult person…), then all living things.
For each of these, you repeat these phrases (out loud or to yourself), or something similar that works for you:
May I be safe and free from harm.
May I be healthy.
May I be truly happy.
May I love myself unconditionally.
For the other people, visualize them in front of you, and say the phases to them. Start with someone close, then someone neutral, then a difficult person:
May you be safe and free from harm.
May you be healthy.
May you be truly happy.
May you love yourself unconditionally.
For all beings, reach out to the world and say this:
May all beings be safe and free from harm.
May all beings be healthy.
May all beings be truly happy.
May all beings love themselves unconditionally.
Here are some other versions with more instructions:
http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2000/07/Opening-The-Heart.aspx
https://soundcloud.com/insightla_meditation/36-minute-guided-lovingkindness-metta-meditation-with-trudy-goodman
One thing to remember is that you can only start from where you are, so don’t worry if it feels fake or uncomfortable, or if you can’t imagine these things being true. This is about setting an intention for what you would like to happen.
Category: Blog Page 4 of 6
It seems that one of the most valuable things for many people right now is connection. I’m noticing that with everyone in a state of uncertainty, not knowing how long we will have to “stay at home,” and not knowing what changes there will be in the coming months and years.
Sometimes you just need someone to be there to listen to you!
I want to help out if anyone needs someone to listen; I’ve created a meetup group that will have zoom calls where we can help support each other. Join here: https://www.meetup.com/Denver-Connection-and-Support-Meetup/ and I hope to see you at one of the events!
Drop me a line if you have any questions or suggestions, or just want to talk. info@barbaraalfors.com
Sending love to everyone!
Anyone else feeling tired? I’ve noticed lately that I’m tired.
Which seems odd, given that we’re all just staying around the house.
But even though my household isn’t directly affected by layoffs or loss of income, we are all in this space of uncertainty. There is a huge emotional load from trying to come to terms with this idea that we aren’t in control of the larger situation, and all we can do is take care of ourselves and our loved ones, while doing anything we can to help those in crisis right now.
There have been a lot of posts on social media about taking this time to be creative; to write that novel or create that great artwork that’s inside of you. And it’s wonderful that some people are doing just that! But it’s also okay if you aren’t.
It’s okay to just notice how you are feeling. Notice that you are here, now. Notice which things you can control and which things you can’t. Take deep breaths and look around you; noticing what you are grateful for can help when you are ready to shift into inspiration.
We are experiencing strange times. Things may feel impossible one moment and hopeful the next. We have to sit with uncertainty, which can feel very uncomfortable. But know that through all this, you are loved.
Whether you have close friends and family who you’ve stayed connected to, or are feeling you have nobody who truly understands you, know that you are loved.
Even if you have been acting crabby or difficult through this, you are loved.
And if you are having a hard time feeling that you are loved, a great way to bring love into your life is to love more.
Love your neighbor who never brings their trash cans in. Love the supermarket checkers who may be afraid to go to work. Love the person who stole your parking space. Love the person who has different political views. Love the person who is worried about a loved one.
Love the kids in your neighborhood who can’t play with their friends. Love the parents who are struggling to work with kids at home. Love the people who have already been laid off. Love yourself; and if that feels too challenging try to love the child you once were.
This kind of love might feel awkward or uncomfortable, and if so that’s okay. But know it gets easier with practice. You might substitute “have compassion for” or “be kind to” if the word love is too big to start with.
Connecting with people is a great way to help us all get through this. Reach out to that person who may not have much of a social network. And if you are that person who feels they have nobody to reach out to, then reach out to me. I’m here for you.
