Barbara Alfors Coaching and Consulting

Be in choice, be aligned, know your path, know your genius.

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Centering Resources

Here are a few of the resources I used to put together a presentation on centering (also see my centering techiques post):

15 Powerful Centering Methods to Reduce Stress, Increase Focus, and Make Better Decisions
https://scottjeffrey.com/center-yourself/#15_Transformative_Practicesfor_Centering
Includes section on how to center yourself, as well as discussion of centering from a psychological and spiritual perspective.


Calming Your Brain During Conflict
https://hbr.org/2015/12/calming-your-brain-during-conflict
Conflict wreaks havoc on our brains. We are groomed by evolution to protect ourselves whenever we sense a threat. In our modern context, we don’t fight like a badger with a coyote, or run away like a rabbit from a fox. But our basic impulse to protect ourselves is automatic and unconscious.


How centered leaders achieve extraordinary results
https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/leadership/how-centered-leaders-achieve-extraordinary-results#
 “Five capabilities are at the heart of centered leadership: finding meaning in work, converting emotions such as fear or stress into opportunity, leveraging connections and community, acting in the face of risk, and sustaining the energy that is the life force of change.”  


How to ‘Keep Your Head in the Game’
https://www.verywellfit.com/how-to-keep-your-head-in-the-game-3120691
Centering is a practical skill that helps athletes stay focused on success, to avoid distractions, and to keep the negative self-talk from derailing a performance. It can help an athlete stay in the moment and let go of past and future thoughts, worries and plans.

Neuroscience Articles

“Amygdala Hijack and the Fight or Flight Response” by Arlin Cuncic: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-happens-during-an-amygdala-hijack-4165944

YANSS 093 – The neuroscience of changing your mind” by David McRaney:
https://youarenotsosmart.com/2017/01/13/yanss-093-the-neuroscience-of-changing-your-mind

“Reduce Emotional Hijacking with Emotional Intelligence”:
https://blog.ttisi.com/emotional-intelligence-prevents-amgydala-hijack

“Calming Your Brain During Conflict” by Diane Musho Hamilton:
https://hbr.org/2015/12/calming-your-brain-during-conflict

The Only Way Out is Through It


Most of us are used to being in control, at least to some degree. Right now, control is one thing we don’t have a lot of! Not being able to see friends and family. Jobs and income may be gone, or uncertain. School has been a challenge, and we have no idea what it might look like in the next school year. Even shopping is no longer the fun diversion it once was.

And rather than get stuck in the “what-ifs,” we can take back some feeling of control by acknowledging that we still can choose how we react. We can choose to believe that we will be able to handle whatever might come next, even if it’s going to take some time to figure out. One way to do this is to remind yourself of any adversity you’ve faced in the past and overcome. 

It’s completely expected that we have down days, or feel overwhelmed. And we know this situation might last for a while. But we are resilient; we can pull on both our inner and outer resources to help us keep going. Reconnect with old friends, set up a group zoom call, take a walk in nature, or find a calming practice such as meditation. Maybe find a way to help those who are worse off than you. It’s important to take care of ourselves when we have additional stress, and most of us have some increased stress right now! 

This situation is largely beyond our control, but the only way out is through it. Let’s keep pushing forward together! 


I want to help out if anyone needs someone to listen; I’ve created a meetup group that will have zoom calls where we can help support each other. Join here: https://www.meetup.com/Denver-Connection-and-Support-Meetup/ and I hope to see you at one of the events! 

Drop me a line if you have any questions or suggestions, or just want to talk. barbara@barbaraalfors.com If you are curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.


#Resilience
#InTheseUncertainTimes
#Support

Colorado Coaching Collective responds to Current Events

Update June 2020: This offer has been extended through September!

I’m excited to have joined the Colorado Coaching Collective to offer complimentary coaching to anyone needing help with our current situation with the pandemic. Please see the attached flyer and reach out to one of the eight coaches listed if you would like some coaching.

Please share with your networks, or anyone you think might benefit!

Click here to download PDF with additional details

Loving Kindness Meditation

Years ago I attended a day-long meditation class (part of the childbirth class I was taking), and one of the things we did was lovingkindness meditation.  I find it very helpful for dealing with stress and stressful people.

Here’s how you do it:  first, find a quiet place to sit where you won’t be interrupted.  Then you traditionally use four people to focus on; first yourself, then a loved one (a pet, your baby, your S.O., etc), then a neutral person (someone you don’t know well, like a supermarket checker or the mail carrier, or someone at work), then a difficult person (start with an easy difficult person…), then all living things. 

For each of these, you repeat these phrases (out loud or to yourself), or something similar that works for you: 
    May I be safe and free from harm. 
    May I be healthy.
    May I be truly happy.    
    May I love myself unconditionally.      


For the other people, visualize them in front of you, and say the phases to them. Start with someone close, then someone neutral, then a difficult person:
    May you be safe and free from harm.
    May you be healthy.
    May you be truly happy.
    May you love yourself unconditionally.  


For all beings, reach out to the world and say this:
    May all beings be safe and free from harm.
    May all beings be healthy.
    May all beings be truly happy.
    May all beings love themselves unconditionally.  


Here are some other versions with more instructions:
http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2000/07/Opening-The-Heart.aspx 
https://soundcloud.com/insightla_meditation/36-minute-guided-lovingkindness-metta-meditation-with-trudy-goodman

One thing to remember is that you can only start from where you are, so don’t worry if it feels fake or uncomfortable, or if you can’t imagine these things being true.  This is about setting an intention for what you would like to happen.  

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