Barbara Alfors Coaching and Consulting

Be in choice, be aligned, know your path, know your genius.

Page 3 of 7

Favorite Resources

I always love to share resources that I find useful. Below are some of my favorite blogs, mindfulness resources, podcasts, and other resources. I will be adding more to the list periodically, so keep checking in!

http://www.barbaraalfors.com/category/resources/

I get Eric Barker’s newsletter, and I always find it compelling. Recently he wrote of reframing (here), where you set your expectations for things to go wrong to avoid that victim feeling of ‘nothing’s going right!’ and put you into resilience instead. Eric’s book “Barking up the Wrong Tree” is also highly recommended. 
Eric Barker: https://www.bakadesuyo.com/https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2020/04/pandemic-ritual/


Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, and proponent of evidenced-based psychology, has a podcast out now that explores how we deal with heightened emotions. Her book “Emotional Agility” addresses how to make everyday choices with more intention and insight.

Susan David https://www.ted.com/podcasts/checking-in  Emotional Agility quiz: http://quiz.susandavid.com/s3/eai


Brené Brown started a new podcast in 2020 (https://brenebrown.com/unlockingus/). Her work on vulnerability is well known to coaches, and is such a gift. Highly recommended. 

Brené Brown https://brenebrown.com/unlockingus/https://brenebrown.com/podcast/dr-marc-brackett-and-brene-on-permission-to-feel/


I took my beginning mindfulness classes from Insight LA. Currently (April 2020) all of their offerings are online.  Insight LA (mindfulness classes) https://insightla.org/  classes: https://insightla.org/programs/everyday-mindfulness/


A beautiful meditation I learned at Insight LA:  Lovingkindness Meditation http://www.barbaraalfors.com/loving-kindness-meditation/

Using our Conscious Minds

white clematis flowers

I’m working on a presentation on centering for a women’s professional group here in Denver, and as I was gathering my research I came across a version of this statement:


An estimated 95% of our choices, behaviors, feelings, reactions, and decisions are made non-consciously.

Being somewhat fact-driven, I attempted to look this up and only found references to Gerald Zaltman, a Harvard professor, and his work on purchasing. And I found a discussion about how there’s no way to really measure cognition, but the 95% figure sounds reasonable based on all the things our brains are doing. This quote was particularly interesting:

“Consciousness appears to be a way to monitor and share the choices we make unconsciously. All the work to make most decisions is made before conscious awareness. The 95% is the actual cognitive effort of making decisions. The 5% is making up a story of why the decision was made.”

– John Light on Quora

So what does this mean in a practical sense? We operate mostly from the shortcuts that our brains have developed over the years, and we may not be making the best decisions or having the best reactions as a result. We have ingrained stories and beliefs that often are mostly untrue, and we base our actions on these stories.

And how do we change this? By developing awareness, and noticing when we are basing our reactions or decisions on reasons we haven’t fully processed.

I will be posting a resource list from my centering presentation and more info on how to use centering to develop awareness, so keep an eye out!


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

Chasing Rabbits

Peter Rabbit

I often think about the power that stories have over us. I was reminded of a simple example the other day as I was planting baby corn seedlings in the backyard.

I was concerned that the rabbits in the yard might eat the tender leaves of the seedlings, but my mind immediately brought up the image of the farmer, Mr. McGregor, chasing Peter Rabbit out of the garden. And I thought, “I don’t want to be bad like Mr. McGregor! I won’t chase away the rabbits.”

If a simple children’s story has so much power to shape our thinking, decades later, imagine how powerful the stories of your own family are.

All families have their own stories; some more common, some more unique, that influence us throughout our lives. Being able to identify these stories leads you to being able to question them. Once you start questioning, you can start making your own conscious choices.

It’s been two days and only two leaves have been eaten. I’m hoping the bunnies don’t like corn.


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

I don’t know where to start!

explore

The Value of Exploration

“I’m interested in coaching, but I don’t know where to start!”  This is a common concern for people considering starting a coaching engagement.

Coaching is something that is hard to understand until you’ve experienced it, and I completely understand this concern that you have to have things figured out before starting. But don’t worry, that’s what the coaching process can support you with! 

The beauty of coaching is that the coaching process helps clarify your thoughts, so that you know where to start. It’s not always an easy or direct process, depending on what’s getting in your way and what blind spots you are ready to explore.  

If you give yourself enough space and openness (in a safe environment), you will know what’s in your heart, and where your blind spots might be. A good coach will give you that space to safely explore. Spending time to figure out what’s most important is a crucial first step to a new coaching engagement. And along the way there will probably be new discoveries about beliefs or thought patterns that are holding you back.

The beauty of coaching is that you don’t need to know where to start. Your coach will help you identify your goals, and any issues you want to tackle.  


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching,  contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.


Page 3 of 7

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén